This story is an excerpt from our book The Art Of Trauma Relief, you can get a free copy of it by clicking here.
Today, I’m going to let you inside of my life…
My name is Kayleen Wright and after 17 years I finally overcame my CPTSD.
Now, you might be thinking…
“Oh well, I bet you had a TON of support at home and really good insurance and a lot of money and you’re PTSD wasn’t really that bad”
Or whatever…
I know what it’s like. I started my journey with PTSD a long time ago but I’d like to just tell you a little bit about me starting from my rock bottom.
First off let me say that I’m not about to share anything graphic or detailed, just a little bit about the situation I was in.
Four years ago I was at my rock bottom. I felt completely broken from the flashbacks and nightmares I was having from the PTSD I had for over 15 years.
Here is a photo of one of the holes that is still left over…I hid it behind a picture frame for the past few years and just recently found it!
I had no education, no support, and just enough money to last me a month or two, and at the rate I was spending money on alcohol, much less.
On top of that, my boyfriend got PTSD from helping me go through mine, so he left me and was suicidal himself. I thought my life was ruined.
This sent me completely off the deep end.
The angry outbursts, the fights, the breakdowns, the screaming matches, the items broken from being thrown across the room had finally gotten too much, for him, for me and for everyone in my life.
I was completely alone and felt completely broken. You know?
I had been looking for anything that could get me relief from my PTSD for years now. At this point I was grasping at straws, and I didn’t understand why the advice given to me by all my therapists, all the books I read and all the websites I spent hours reading online didn’t work.
Literally I went through years of getting help and seeing specialists, but was coming up empty handed every time… I was so frustrated, you know?
I thought to myself…
“There are literally millions of people who have PTSD! Why is it so hard to find a path, and a solution?!”
Have you ever thought this too?
One night I found myself lying on the kitchen floor all alone sticky with spilled alcohol and scattered with pieces of plastic, glass and ceramic from things that had been thrown about the room in fits of rage.
The flashbacks and nightmares had gotten so bad that I couldn’t even leave my house, I couldn’t eat, and my hands were twice the size they should have been from all the holes I put in the walls and all the dishes I had smashed and the parts of myself I had physically beaten.
As I laid on the kitchen floor that night exhausted physically and mentally but unable to sleep or get relief, I decided that I was going to end it.
I’m not telling you this to get sympathy. I just want you to know where my life went! Okay?
And, I know a lot of you might be able to see similarities in my story, right?
I tell you this because I want you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel.
I no longer wanted to hurt the people I loved, I no longer wanted to be a burden and I no longer wanted to be in pain. I simply couldn’t live like this any longer and nothing seemed to be able to help me get better.
I was tired of the flashbacks.
I was done with the nightmares.
And, I was threw with destroying the ones I loved most.
I promised him that I would do everything I possibly could to get better before giving up.
So I decided to give getting better one last attempt
I decided to spend my entire life savings, over $10,000…to work all day every day at it, find every resource I could until my money and resources ran out.
In 4 years I got to a point where there were absolutely no symptoms whatsoever.
I went from being miserable, unambitious, stressed and wanting to kill myself to being excited, happy, calm and obsessed with creating my dream life.
I was able to finally sleep through the night…every night!
I could leave the house and not have anxiety attacks, I never felt angry or threw anything across the room again, no more angry outbursts, no more lash outs.
And, I was actually relaxed for the first time in my life, not jumpy not on edge and my heart was completely at ease. I fixed all the holes in the walls of my house and cleaned up all the messes I had made.
I was finally able to create meaningful relationships and be open with people with no fear of hurting the ones I love, and I was actually able to repair my relationship with my boyfriend and help him through his own PTSD.
Like I always say, it is our duty to help others once we are able to help ourselves.
Now I want you to think about this… It’s your duty to help others after you’ve helped yourself… You agree with that right?
So, if you agree, then this means that your first duty is to help yourself.
Let me say that again because it is so important. In order to help others, you MUST first help yourself… and that makes it your duty and your responsibility to help yourself first!
One of the biggest reasons why I was able to overcome my PTSD is because I saw something bigger afterwards. I was actually talking with my boyfriend a few years ago… this was when things were really dark for me. This was when I blamed everyone and everything for what happened to me, and for how I felt.
I hated everything, I constantly complained about my situation… I kept saying things like…
He told me that I had PTSD for a reason, and that the reason was for me to win, to beat it, and most importantly to help others beat it. He said that he imagined me writing books, inspiring people, giving hope, and helping people 1 on 1 get through their PTSD.
I remember it so clearly, he painted this picture in my mind…
He said that I was going to do great things, and that PTSD was actually going to be a gift to me because I would be able to help so many people in this world….
And that the only way for me to help all these people was to have PTSD, go through all that pain, and to overcome it.
It took me years to get to the point where I could start helping others.
When I was recovering I took a LOT of notes about all the different things I was trying to get relief… the different techniques, how your brain is affected by PTSD, relationships, health, literally everything!
So what I did was go through all my notes and everything I had done and I x’ed and threw away out all the things that didn’t work, and made a pile of all the things that did work.
I took my pile of notes and put it into a step by step process.. The exact steps that I would recommend to someone else.
Once I did this I reached out to people in my community and I took this new process and coached them along their recovery journey.
And it felt amazing to be able to take people who thought they were completely broken, and bring them to a place where they would literally mend broken relationships, sleep through night, and not suffer from nightmares anymore!
There were people who hadn’t seen their kids in years because of what PTSD did to them, and were finally able to take the leap and rekindle that relationship!
Wouldn’t that be great? All the fights filled with anger and PTSD gone?
And there were people who were depressed all day and couldn’t hold a job, and they were able to complete turn it around to a point where they were waking up, getting out of bed everyday, and actually getting back on track with their career!
How would that change your life? I know for me one of the biggest problems was not being able to hold a job!
It was amazing!
But, don’t get me wrong this process I created wasn’t perfect the first time.
I found that there were all types of issues, and all types of people. So I kept tweaking the process and the way that I coached these people.
I worked out the kinks until there were less and less and this amazing thing happened…
I looked up and all the sudden I had been able to make life changing shifts in all these people in my community.
As of right now, I’ve helped people in the US, Canada, The UK, Brazil, And Australia.
And so I went from having no clue that PTSD could even be healed to someone who is helping people across the world overcome their PTSD and change their lives.
It’s my mission… my duty, and my responsibility to help as many people as I can.
I want to start a movement, and build a community of positive people who are spreading hope and not disbelief.
This is why I do what I do! This is why I am here with you today, because I know that you probably don’t think that full recovery possible. Right? I sure as heck didn’t.
But, I’m here to tell you that it is.
The reason why I’m sharing all this with you is because I’m just like you, okay?
I am nothing special, I am not some superhuman, some super anomaly who did the impossible!
I’m not the only one who’s done it, and I had to go through the pain and suffering of finding my own way out, and I felt just as hopeless, just as stuck, and just as lost as many of you do right now.
Over these years, I’ve done a lot of things right…
Over these years, I’ve done a lot of things right…
And, I’ve done a lot of things wrong…
I had no support system, no guidance, no hope, and no road-map to recovery. I faced years and years of pain with no relief. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
In the beginning it SUCKED!
It was so hard, I wanted to give up almost every single day
I broke every friendship and relationship I had…
I lost 3 jobs in 3 months…
There were way too many tears, and holes in the walls…
I was hopeless and felt completely broken. I struggled alone for almost 2 decades, and I spent my life savings…tens of thousands of dollars.
But, don’t worry! That’s the hard way to do this. I’m going to show you an easier way.
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have suffered a single year beyond my trauma.
And I’m super excited to share this process with you!
Are you interested in learning how I did it?
I put together a free training showing you exactly how I made the the transformation from completely broken with PTSD to living the life of my dreams
And… How I saved my relationships, my health, and my life.
More importantly… I show you how you can do the same even faster than I did by applying lessons I learned from my journey.
You can register here for free: http://www.overcomingptsd.info/go
If you’re struggling with PTSD right now, you’re going to love this free training.
I look forward to seeing you on the other side.
– Kayleen
