The Path To True Freedom: Episode 1 - How To Heal PTSD From Home

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Hey everyone, Kayleen here and welcome to my PTSD mini series, how to heal your PTSD from home. So right now, I'm standing in my living room filming filming this, we've never done anything quite like this. But that is the theme of what this entire mini series is all about. It's all about how to heal your PTSD or see PTSD from home. So throughout the series, we're going to be right here in my living room, teaching you how to heal your PTSD or see PTSD from home. And the reality is, is that people all over the world are healing their PTSD and their PTSD from home, we live in the technology and information age, and the amount of information, the amount of technology and accessibility to knowledge and information is beyond what was literally imaginable just 20 years ago. So this is a great time to be alive to be joining a training like this, and to be able to get to work with people all over the world.

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So for those of you who don't know, me, my name is Kayleen. I suffered with CPTSD for more than 15 years. And now I no longer do. And when I was on my recovery journey, there was a point that I just like to share with you. And there was a point where I was at my rock bottom, my see PTSD had really taken over my entire life. And if you're someone with PTSD, or even if you love someone with PTSD, or C, PTSD, you know just how much PTSD infects every area of your life. And so for me, when I was at rock bottom, you know, I was an alcoholic, I was way overweight, I was feeling hopeless, I had no motivation, I was depressed.

1:37  
And I was at rock bottom, deciding to make the choice. And I was deciding to make the choice to either give it up, just let it all slip through my fingers, or I was deciding to keep going, right. And so a lot of people have an experience where they make that choice. And for me, there was one thing that really weighed heavy on me when I was making that choice. And I had been teaching for that point. For for a while at that point, I had taught sailing for almost seven years, I was studying education in school. And at that moment, when I was at rock bottom, it's just something kind of came into my head. And he just kind of rushed over me.

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And it was just like, you know what, if you can do this, first of all, you can do this, anyone can do this. And if you can do this, if you can do this, you can take the knowledge that you have of teaching and educating and being comfortable in front of people. And you can teach others how to do this too. So if you can do it, anyone can do it. And if you can do it, you can teach that information to other people. And so I decided right there not to end everything. And what I decided at that very moment was to commit to no matter what being on this healing journey and seeing it through, till full recovery. And that's exactly what I did.

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And so at rock bottom, when I was feeling hopeless, and depressed, and anxious, and my relationship with my partner, the most beloved person in the world, to me, was absolutely destroyed, there were holes in the house, we actually still live in the same house. So I'm looking at some of the spots where there used to be holes and broken dishes and all of this stuff. And I went from there rock bottom. And in just a few years, I was able to get to full recovery. And full recovery was, you know, completely and utterly sleeping through the night no anxiety, no flashbacks, no nightmares. Everything that I was experiencing at rock bottom was completely gone and completely transformed. And so I had to serve myself first. But once I was able to heal my own c PTSD, I was able to repair my relationship with my partner. And I was able to help him then heal and overcome his own CPTSD.

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So we both were struggling with this. And that was the biggest affirmation to me that at rock bottom, I made that right choice. And it was just this beautiful moment where I was able to serve myself and heal myself, and then go back to this person that I loved, and that I really thought that I had lost from all the screaming and the fighting and the holes and the really mean things that and I was able to help him and repair our relationship. And so it was this beautiful affirmation. And since then, since helping brand through his own cptsd, I've worked with hundreds of people all over the world, helping them recover from PTSD. And from C PTSD. It's been an amazing journey. I'm a recovery coach. And that is why I'm coming to you with this information today. Because I've been there I've done it, and I've helped other people do it.

4:29  
So I'm really excited to be sharing this information with you. And one quick note before we jump in, I just want to say anytime throughout any of my trainings, but anytime I say PTSD, I'm also referring to C PTSD. So you'll hear me use it interchangeably back and forth. And it's just for ease of use. When I say PTSD, it also applies to see PTSD. So I'm not trying to leave everyone out, or anyone out. I'm just trying to make it a little bit easier because it can be a mouthful. So today's training is called the path to true freedom and there's three things we're going to be covering In this training, number one, we're going to talk about why it's possible for you to heal, regardless of what you've been through this is really, really important how the healing process works, how healing works in the brain.

5:12  
So we're going to dive a little bit into the brain there. And then why some people heal, why some people never heal and suffer for a lifetime, and how, of course, you can avoid it. So there's a big stigma around PTSD, and you see it in the PTSD community a lot. And it's that you just have to live with it, you just have to manage it, basically, you have to suffer forever. And this is a lifelong thing. And I'm going to show you why that's not true, and how you can avoid suffering for a lifetime. And then we'll talk about three myths that would cause even the most qualified trauma therapists to suffer forever. So it's really important that we're covering these things, because they can totally stop you, even if you you know how the brain heals, and you understand the basic science behind it. So you're on board, okay, it's possible to heal, and you know what to avoid. So you don't make mistakes.

5:59  
And so you can actually move forward, if you believe these three myths, you will not be able to move forward. So that's what we're covering in this video here. And we'll jump right into the first point why it's possible for you to heal regardless of what you've been through. So now what I've set up here on the board, is an event. So that's our little calendar here, your working memory and your long term memory. So that's what we're going to be referring to when we're talking through this point here. So that's the event. That's your working memory. And I'll explain what these things are, and your long term memory. So this, what I'm about to explain is how your brain processes information. And then I'll talk about what happens when it's something traumatic.

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So a normal event happens. And what your brain does is it puts it into its working memory. Now what happens in the working memory is learning and discovery. And that will make more sense in a bit too. So what happens in your working memory is learning and discovery. So your brain experiences an event. And I'll give an example, let's say, Have you ever done this, have you ever maybe been a little bit late for work and you had your coffee, and you were packing the car and you put your coffee on the roof, and you forgot it was on the roof. So you started to drive off without it and it fell off the roof. So we'll say that's the event, your coffee fell off the roof of your car. Now, when your coffee falls off the roof of your car, you might feel angry, I mean, you're a human being right, you might feel angry, you might feel frustrated, you might be like, oh man, I'm so stupid, right?

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You might feel embarrassed, you might feel some negative things. And that's okay. And so all of that information is going to go into your working memory. And in your working memory, what your brain is going to do is learning and discovery. So basically what your brain is doing is what's called processing that information. And it's happening moment by moment, sometimes it's literally seconds that it's processing. And this is an ongoing thing that your brain does. And sometimes it's days, weeks, months or more that your brain is working on something processing something in this working memory memory, doing the learning and discovery.

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So what your brain does in this part of the working memory, is it throws out our little Oscar the Grouch trashcan there. So it throws out anything that won't serve you, your brain is always trying to protect you, to help you and to help you for the future. So it's going to throw out basically anything negative. And it's going to store in your long term memory, so you can call on it. anything positive, anything that will serve you in the future. So in our coffee example, remember, we were frustrated, we were angry, we were like, I'm so stupid, I can't believe I did that, in your working memory, as you maybe go through the rest of your day, what it's going to do is it's going to take the information that serves you which in this case would be don't put coffee on the roof, you know, you need a system to remember that you can't have coffee on the roof, or remember to take it off the roof.

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And that's what's going to stick there. And it's going to throw out the anger, the negativity, the frustration, the negative self talk of I'm stupid, so it's going to toss all that stuff out. So that stuff gets completely let go. So now the next time you think of the event, maybe this happens, and it's lunchtime, and you're telling your co workers like you know, you get through the morning, and you're telling your coworkers and you're like, you're not gonna believe what happened to me, I put my coffee on the roof, and maybe you even laugh about it. And so that's what gets stored in your long term memory for recall. And your brain is going to use that it's going to call on that information in the future.

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So the next time you go to put your coffee on the roof, it might remember Wait a minute, last time it fell off the roof. So let's not put it there. Let's put it on the ground next to us. So even if we drive away without it, we won't lose that mug. And it's saving that information but you're not going to feel the negativity, the anger the negative self talk when you think about that coffee falling off the roof. So that's what happens with a normal event. Now let me show you what happens with a terminal event. And remember, your brain is always trying to serve you. So we have our negative traumatic event here. And it's really important to remember that a lot of people can get hard on themselves when they they see this process. And they say, like, Well, why didn't my brain do that? Why didn't my brain process it correctly, but I'm going to explain that in just a second here.

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So let's have a traumatic event. Let's say this is trauma. And now anything can be traumatic. There's there's no comparing you'll, you'll hear me a lot in my content a lot when I'm teaching, say, we're not comparing trauma, so anything can be traumatic. And what happens when you experience a trauma is basically your brain in an attempt to protect you, it almost just gets like overloaded. And it's like, Whoa, this is, this is a lot of information. And so I'm going to skip this working memory learning and discovery process, because that's it's just, it's too much right now. It's just, it just kind of gets overloaded. And it skips the working memory. And it goes straight into the long term memory. And what we'll call it is a raw on process event.

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And so it gets stored as raw, unprocessed, that means all the negative talk, all the feelings, all the fear, all the anxiety that you experienced in this event, are stored in that long term memory, which means your brain didn't get the opportunity to use its working memory. So it didn't do the learning. And it didn't do the risk of discovery, which means it didn't throw out negative information. So now what happens, as you know, or if you're here for a loved one, as you've experienced with them, is since this negative event, went straight into your long term memory, raw and unprocessed, what can happen is when you think of the event, what happens you get triggered and you feel the negative emotions, you feel the fear, the crippling anxiety, the whatever it is. And then what happens when when you get triggered, right?

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You either cope, or you run and numb. So for me that was alcohol, big time. For some people, it's you know, maybe you do grounding, but maybe you do TV, or video games, or you do alcohol or you do food, whatever it is, even if it's a healthy coping skill, what you're doing is like you're being triggered, and you're either running in numbing, like a lot of people do, it's a natural response, because it's scary, right? With all this raw information as if, as if it had just happened, right? Because it all gets stored in there. So you do that you run you numb.

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And eventually you do that for long enough, or again, you use a coping skill, that it goes back into the long term memory. And essentially, we'll call it like dormant. So you experience a trauma, it gets stored straight in your long term memory unprocessed, you get triggered, and you feel all of those things, you feel the emotions, you think the thoughts it feels as if you're there, your body and your mind feel as if that's that experience has just happened. And again, you run you numb, you cope, whatever it is, and it goes back into the long term memory where it then remains dormant until the next time you get triggered.

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So for a lot of people, what happens is they get stuck in this process in the cycle of triggered, run numb store back in their triggered run a numb store back in there, and you get caught in this cycle. Now for me, again, this was alcohol. For me, that was a big, big one. I was a big binge TV watcher, right. So what I would do is I would get triggered, I would drink a ton. And then it would go back to my long term memory. I just like get blackout drunk. And then the next day, maybe I'd have a nightmare or whatever it is it come back up. And I lived in this cycle. And eventually, this cycle because I was living in it. And I was just spiraling and spiraling.

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This is the cycle that brought me down to rock bottom. This is the thing, this is what happened, right? This happened However, many years ago when I was at rock bottom 15 years ago, but it felt just like it just happened, right? So this cycle is what spirals people down to rock bottom. And this you really can't get any better with this mode of handling trauma. So what you want to do instead, and how you process trauma, how trauma is processed in the brain. Remember, it's skip this working memory to begin with. So what needs to happen is this trauma needs to be brought out in a safe environment with the right tool and brought back into the working memory. So your brain has the opportunity to do the learning and the discovery.

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And so what it does when it does the learning and discovery is it throws out the bad stuff. So it throws out the fear, the anxiety, the All the negative emotions negative self talk. And once it throws out the bad stuff, it stores the good stuff. And it's stored as a safe memory. So it stores only what will serve you in the future, only what you'll be able to call on to use in the future, and then you have no trauma, right? And so then you never get triggered again. Because this is stored safely, you've thrown out the the things that cause flashbacks, you've thrown out the anxiety, the fear, the things that make you scream at the people that you love, you've thrown all of that out.

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Because it's been through the working memory your brain did the learning and discovery. And part of that learning and discovery that your brain does is that is not what's happening right now. Right? That event was however long ago, and it does, okay. This is why it happened. And this is why it was unique. And all these different things happen in the working memory, it throws out all the negative stuff. And it stores the good stuff, the lessons, the opportunities, the beauty, the growth, things like that gets stored in the long term memory. So now when you think back on your trauma or traumas, there's no negativity, you don't ever get triggered again. So that is how trauma is healed. Now for me, right? I said, when I was stuck in the cycle, it was the cycle of triggered and then coping and stuck in that cycle of running and numbing, that's what brought me down to rock bottom.

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Once I went through this process of bringing the traumas out into my working memory, again, in a safe way with the right tool, then it was fully processed. And so then I was able to sleep through the night, every night, I was able to have calm conversations with my boyfriend, I was able to hang out with my friends I had isolated myself when I was going further and further from rock bottom, okay, I no longer drink alcohol, I was able to really enjoy my life set goals, do what I wanted to do be who I wanted to be, I felt hopeful, I felt motivated, I felt excited. And so now what happens is I could think back on everything that I've experienced, and there's absolutely no negativity because my brain threw it out. So that's what happens when you go through this process. And that's why it's possible for you for anyone to heal from PTSD or C PTSD, regardless of what you've been through.

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So now wanted cptsd, what you're going to have to do is do this a few times, this isn't necessarily a one and done thing for someone who's experienced, excuse me more than one trauma. So that is why it's possible to heal PTSD and see PTSD. It's an amazing process. And in this working memory here, your brain has something called an information processing system, which is where that learning and discovery happens. And what's so cool about that is that your brain already possesses it. This is not something that you have to buy or really even like learn your brain is moment by moment when it's not a trauma, it's moment by moment processing information, it is constantly going through this literally moment by moment, every time notice the next time you you, you know you drop the coffee off the roof of your car, or you maybe you burn something in the microwave, or maybe not in the microwave in the toaster oven, where you're just you're human and you're just like frustrated, you're like oh my gosh, that was so stupid.

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Like, I can't believe I did that. And like, on the worst, or whatever negativity and negative feelings are like now I'm late and you get a little stressed, maybe you snap at someone that you love. Notice how that goes away. And that's because of this working memory. And that's because of the learning and discovery. So that is why it's possible for anyone to heal trauma. That is how a simple version of how that works and how the brain actually processes information and why in the first place, your brain didn't do it. And again, it was an attempt to protect you, your brain is always trying to work for you. That's why it's trying to store the information that will serve you. So when you touch a hot stove when you're a kid, it stores don't touch hot stoves, you know, don't touch stoves, they might be hot, because that's going to hurt. But it doesn't store the pain. It doesn't store the fear that you felt initially touching that stove and being like oh my gosh, like that hurts so much, right?

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So it doesn't store that it just stores the information, hey, don't touch stoves, or maybe put your hand near it to make sure it's not hot. So that's why it's possible to heal PTSD. And the next point we'll jump into is why some people never recover. So this is a huge, huge point here. I see it so much in PTSD communities that people are talking about, you know, you just have to live with this forever, and you never recover. And you just have to hope and there's no hope to healing. But we know there's hope to healing. This is how your brain heals. So I'm going to set up the board here and then we'll jump into why some people never recover and of course, how you can avoid that. So let's talk about why some people never recover and then of course, how you can avoid that.

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Now the very first First thing I want to say about this, and a lot of people approached me about this is that people who recover from PTSD or C, PTSD, are not superhuman, they're not special. And I believe, you know, everyone is unique and amazing. And everyone has the capacity to be amazing human beings, and fulfill their potential, whatever that may be. But people who recover from PTSD myself, Brad, everyone that I've ever worked with is not special. They're not special people. And I love them dearly. And you might be thinking, well, that's not a very kind thing to say about the people that you work with. But they're not special in they're not superhuman, and they'd want me to share this message with you. I'm not superhuman, I'm not super mentally strong. I when I was at rock bottom, I wasn't this person who was positive and had all the answers and knew what to do and knew how to think I wasn't that person. I'm just like you are or I'm just I was just like you are right now, we're all the same in regards to this, we all have the capability to fully recover from PTSD.

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Again, regardless of what you've been through, or what you're going through, I'm not special, I didn't have the energy I have. Now like I said, I didn't have the tools, I didn't have the resources. When I was at rock bottom, I was a mess, just like anyone else at rock bottom. So I just wanted to share that quick that no one who does this journey is superhuman, they're all normal, just like me just like you just like everyone else. Now, there are three reasons why some people never recover, and three things that you can do to avoid that. So the first reason why some people never recover is because they have the wrong tools. So if you have the wrong tools, you're not going to get the job done. The second thing, the second reason why people never recover, because they're not deliberate. They're not deliberate with the tools that they have with the actions that they take. And the third reason is because they're not consistent. So really, really important. They have the wrong tools. They're not deliberate, and they're not consistent. And this is really, really, really important because you kind of need all of these three things, to have the magic formula for healing, so to speak. If you have the wrong tools, and you're not deliberate, and you're not consistent, you will never get there, like I'm a positive person.

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But if you don't have these three things, you won't get there. So what do you need? How can you avoid that you need the right tools? Right, you need to you need to be deliberate. And you need to be consistent. And I have an amazing analogy. And I'll be straight up honest with you, I did not even make this analogy of my partner, Brad made it up. And he just very recently made it up. And it is the most amazing visual to understand why you need all these three things. And again, these three things are like the magic formula. If you have the right tools, you take deliberate and consistent action, you are going to win. And so what I have here, we're going to switch cameras for a second.

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What I have here is a little setup that we set up for you to show you why you need these things. So what happens if you have the wrong tools. So if you have the wrong tools, it's like trying to hammer in a nail with a paperclip. Okay, so that's not going to work. Now, if you're not deliberate, let's say you have the right tool, right, you have a hammer, you have the right tool, but you're not deliberate. That might mean you are using the hammer like this. Or maybe you're you're kind of using the hammer like this. And you're you're just kind of you're swinging in the dark, right. So if you're not, if you don't have the right tools you're doing with a paperclip, if you're not deliberate, you might not even be using this tool the right way, even if you are using it the right way, you might be totally missing the point. And if you're not consistent, here's what happens. So you're using the right tool, and you're deliberate, you know exactly where you're going to hit it. But if you're not consistent, so you just did it once, okay, so if you're don't have the right tools, and you're using a paperclip to do the job of a hammer, that's not going to work. If you're not deliberate, and you're you're swinging in the dark, that's not going to work. And if you're not consistent, you're not going to get there nearly as fast as you can, if at all. So now here's what happens when you have the magic three.

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And you did it. Okay, so really straightforward. I think it's a great example. So thank you, Brad, for showing this to me and using this analogy. Now what if you have cptsd you need to apply those three things. Over and over again. Okay, so the right tool, deliberate and consistent action. And that is what's going to get the job done. So that's what we have for you, you want the right tool, deliver and consistent action. And that is like the magic recipe, so to speak, when it comes to healing, if you're missing one of these things, you're not going to get there. If you have the wrong tool, if you're trying to hammer in a nail, with a paperclip, even if you're consistent, it is not going to happen. So you have to have all three of these things.

25:42  
Okay, so that's what we have for that. And the next thing we're going to talk about are the three myths that people believe that would stop even the most qualified trauma therapist from fully recovering. So now that you know, it's possible to heal PTSD and see PTSD and how your brain does that process. You know what you need. This is why some people never recover, because they never get the right tools, they never get the deliberate action, and they're not consistent with their healing. So this is why this is a failing formula. And this is why that community belief is so widespread is because people are using paper clips, they're not deliberate about how they're even applying that paper clip. And they're not consistent with how much action that they're taking. So if you use the wrong tools, you're not deliberate in you're not consistent, it's a failing formula, you have to have all three of these things to succeed. So that's what we have for this, I'm going to set up the board again, and we will jump into those three myths, the three biggest myths that would stop even the most qualified of trauma therapists to not recover so you can know how the recovery looks, you can understand how it works in the brain and the working memory in the long term memory. And you can understand that you need deliberate consistent action with the right tools. But if you believe these myths, you will not fully recover.

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So Myth number one, my situation is special, unique or different. I have multiple traumas or or BPD, PNS, TBI, etc, etc, etc. So this is an example of something that I hear a lot when I talk about the brain. And when I explain how the information processing system works, and the learning and discovery and the working memory, I get this kind of objection a lot, which is you know, my situation is special because I also have BPD I also have PNAS I also have a TBI, I also have agoraphobia. And I want to ask you something, okay. If you had a common cold, or you just kind of caught a cold, and you went to your doctor, what would they say to you, they would probably say, get plenty of rest and drink a lot of fluids. Right? There's no cure for the common cold, let's just rest and drink water.

27:58  
Okay. And so if you have the common cold in Australia, or New Zealand, or North America or South America or England, that's what the prescription so to speak would be. It doesn't matter how you caught the cold, it doesn't matter. If you know you were in a big room of people, and you were skiing in the Alps. And all of a sudden you caught a call and you weren't feeling well, doesn't matter if you know you were hiking the Appalachian Trail or if you were digging in the sand or something, right. So it doesn't matter how you call the cold, the process to heal a common cold is still the same. And another example of that is like, let's say you break your forearm, it doesn't matter how you break your forearm, the process, the heel of forearm is the same, right? And so you go to the doctor and they'll take an X ray.

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And then what they'll say is okay, we need to, you know, maybe reset it and they'll reset it and they'll put a splint or a cast on and they'll say rest for X amount of weeks or months. And that's what will happen. So it doesn't matter how you broke your forearm, if you broke your forearm falling out of a tree, or this happened to me when I was younger, my brother Ramya were very young, with his bicycle. Okay, and then actually, he fell into a tree as well. So karma, right? But it doesn't matter if someone ran you over with their bicycle or you fell, you know, out of a tree or you slipped on ice. If you break your forearm, you're going to go to the doctor, if they're going to do an X ray, they're going to set it and then put it in some sort of braces bling cast and tell you to rest on it. Okay, and then you're going to do physical therapy to get it back to normal. So the the kind of theme there is it doesn't matter how you got it.

29:35  
People all over the world have PTSD and see PTSD. So another kind of question for you is, how is it possible that someone in Australia could experience something traumatic and let's say have nightmares and flashbacks and anxiety, and someone in in Europe could also experiencing something totally different, traumatic and also have nightmares and anxiety, crippling fear and have the same symptoms and how is it possible that someone in the East Coast of the United States or the west coast, the United States, or Hawaii, or Canada or South America, how is it possible that everyone goes through their specific unique situation and has the same symptoms, right? And that's because healing the core is the same. So it doesn't matter how you broke your forearm, doesn't matter how you got your PTSD or C PTSD, the healing process is the same. And on top of that, PTSD, and see PTSD is one of the most missed the one of the most commonly misdiagnosed things in the field of mental health.

30:42  
And so something I always encourage people to think about is basically how we define trauma and PTSD. And if you're kind of in need of healing is, if your past negatively affects your present, you're in need of healing, and that should be your focus. So things like BPD PNF, TBI, do not block you from healing your past and in creating an amazing future. They don't block you from healing the PTSD. So a lot of times what I see is people are diagnosed with PTSD, and it's okay if you're diagnosed or undiagnosed, but they're diagnosed with PTSD. And you know, they're they're doing great and they're feeling good. And then they get diagnosed with with BPD. And they say, are well, and they kind of fall into this label. And they say, well, this won't work for me. Now I have BPD.

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And so again, it's mental health is very challenging to diagnose. There's a lot of different things that go into it. It's constantly changing. It's fairly new, it's evolving. And so as we define it, if your past negatively affects your present, you're in need of healing, and you deserve healing at the very highest level. And that should be your focus. Because all of these things get easier or sometimes get alleviated completely. If you heal your core, whether it's trauma, you know, they talk about big tree t trauma or little t trauma. It doesn't matter once you heal your past. Some of these things go away all together, but it's so important that that is the focus.

32:14  
And on top of that I have like I said, I work I've worked with hundreds of people all around the world who have had these things and healed their PTSD or see PTSD. So I've had a client, Jenny heal her BPD I've had a client, Barry heal his PNAS. I've had a client, Michelle healer, TBI, agoraphobia, dissociation, all of that ties into the PTSD. So you can think about like PTSD, if you're looking at my hand right here, this is PTSD, this is trauma. This is, again, whether it's, it's something that seems small, but still negatively affects you, or something that is more quote, unquote, obvious that is trauma, this is the core of your life, and then everything else, all of my fingers here, that all is, stemmed from the trauma. So a lot of times what you find is when you heal this, it's basically like you're you're pulling up the root of a tree instead of just cutting off branches.

33:08  
So when you heal the trauma, on top of some of these things going away, what you also get is you heal your relationship, you heal the your know your self confidence, your self image, you're able to hold a job, you're able to do things you're passionate about, you're able to have a social life. So trauma is always at the core of it, and we see it time and time. Again, it's so important that you focus on this core, because trauma is the epicenter and PTSD and see PTSD, and whatever it is, that's the epicenter of everything in your life. So if you heal that, everything goes up, everything gets better. And again, on top of that, all of these things I have been, you know, personally involved with people who have had these things and fully recovered.

33:54  
So don't let that stop you. Myth two, is I've had this for Blanke decades. So insert decades, 30 decades may have 30 decades, three decades, and I've tried everything I'm too old, or have had this for too long. So this is another common thing I see. People especially kind of in the older community where they say, well, like, this is like I've been like this My whole life and you know, maybe it won't work for me because I'm too old or i've i've already you know, tried everything.

34:26  
And it just won't work for me and I have a story about a woman from World War Two a Japanese woman. She was very, very young. I think she was like 12 during World War Two and the things that happened, really affected her and she lived with PTSD for her entire life up until she was 90 and at 90 years old. She went through her healing journey and she fully healed her PTSD after all those years. What's that? 70 something years, and she was quoted saying I feel free for the first time in my life. So no matter how how old you are, or how long you've had this for you deserve healing, if more than anyone, I mean, everyone deserves healing at the highest level.

35:07  
But if you've been suffering for that long, you absolutely absolutely deserve healing. So that is the first thing I want to say about that. And then the second thing I want to say, you know, just in our point before, we talked about having the right tools, and taking consistent and deliberate action, and so for people that come to me, and they say, you know, I've tried everything, I want to challenge that. And I want to say, you know, have you tried everything? Have you really tried everything, you know, there's over 100 types of therapy? Have you tried everything? And have you tried everything with deliberate, consistent action, that is with the right tool. So again, you need those three things, to kind of create that magic formula, so to speak.

35:52  
So I want you to challenge your thinking, if if you're kind of saying this to yourself, and you said, Well, no, I've tried everything. And this won't work for me, I want you to challenge yourself, has it been deliberate, consistent with the right tools, you need those three things together to really make this work. And then our third myth here is a clinician said blank about my situation, this breaks my heart when I hear it. And sometimes what will happen is you'll be seeing someone, or maybe it's a doctor or a therapist, or whatever it is, you're seeing a clinician about this. And sometimes what can happen is the clinician will say something specific to you, because you're there, you're in their office, about your situation.

36:33  
And so sometimes what I hear is, you know, my clinician told me that I just have to cope with this, or my clinician told me, I'm treatment resistant, breaks my heart, my clinician told me that there's no hope for me, my clinician told me, it's too hard. For me, it's too complex. My PTSD is unhealable, because it's happened for so long. It's so complex. And again, this breaks my heart because it's it's not true. And I just want to share something with you. And it's about where to get bad advice. And that might seem like a weird thing to hear, but but hear me out for a second, you can get bad advice from anyone on the planet, who hasn't done what you're looking to do. So the place that you always want to get advice is from someone who's been in your shoes, and who have achieved what you want to achieve, or who has helped someone else achieve what you want to achieve.

37:26  
So now, if you're a clinician, and I'm not, I'm not writing off clinicians, or doctors or anything like that, if your clinician has never helped anyone recover from PTSD, not a good place to get advice. If your clinician has never had PTSD, and fully recovered themselves, not a good place to get advice. Don't get advice from people in the PTSD community, who are still struggling with people with PTSD themselves. That's the place to get bad advice. It's like if I wanting to lose weight, and I got advice from someone who was very, very heavy, on how to lose weight, that will be a failing formula. That's not good advice. I want advice from someone who has the body type that I want, maybe the muscle type that I want, whatever it is, I want to get advice from someone who has done what I want to achieve, or who has helped someone else, do what I want to achieve.

38:18  
So a coach who has helped someone, or people lose weight, or a coach who has helped people get the perfect physique based on their body, things like that. So you always want to watch where you're getting your advice, because it's so, so important. I, I every day, I can't believe that people take advice from people still suffering with PTSD, people will take advice from people at rock bottom. And advice is really easy to give. And it's so so important that you you reflect and you say, Do I want to be in your shoes? You know, do you really have the advice that I need or that I want. So be careful just because you look up to someone and they're your doctor, or they're your clinician, or they're your best friend, you know, you can admire someone, and you can love them. And you can look up to them in certain areas.

39:02  
But be careful about the areas that you take advice from advice people give advice. 24 7365 make sure you're getting the right advice. And then something else I just want to share briefly is I believe it's called the the Milgram study or experiment. And it was done at Yale in the 60s. And it's basically an experiment about biases. And it's about a lab coat bias. And some of you might have heard about this experiment before. But basically what it is, is they have someone come into a room and someone go into a room opposite them so they can hear each other, but they can't see each other. And they're this person that comes in into the room. There's a bunch of questions in front of them. And then there's different shocks.

39:44  
So they're going to electrocute the person in the room, that they can't see the person but they can hear the person and there's a person in the back of the room with a lab coat and a clipboard. And they say okay, read the question, and if they get it wrong, shock them. Continue doing that. Each time they get a question wrong, shock them higher and higher and higher. And the person in the lab coat never said they were a doctor never said they were an expert was just standing there with a clipboard and a lab coat. And 100% of the participants shocked someone up to 300 volts, which is a very dangerous voltage. But what's even more is I believe it was like 6565 of the participants shocked someone up to the highest voltage. Now they weren't actually shocking people.

40:32  
The person in the other room was pretending ever they were all in on the experiment except for the person shocking. But 65% of people shocked someone until the point where they would not survive the shock, just because the person in the lab coat was saying, Please continue, please continue. And just because they were in a lab coat with a clipboard. So just really be careful about having biases. That goes for people in lab coats, people with titles, as well as people you look up to, you could look up to someone and admire them for the way they raised their family. But maybe they're overweight. So you might want to get marriage and family advice from them. But not weight loss advice. So really just think about those things. And then the last thing, if you'll excuse me, I'll take a sip of water here.

41:15  
But the last thing I want to tell you about someone that I personally work with. And this woman, her name is Tanya, and she was told that she was treatment resistant. And Tanya before we started working together, she said she had tried everything said she kind of exhausted all her options in regards to insurance in regards to location for where she lived, she was flying places traveling places, excuse me until her her clinician or her doctor, I forget exactly what their title was. But said, you know, your treatment resistant, this won't work. Like we tried all the treatments. We've tried the shock we've tried, we've tried everything, your treatment resistant.

41:57  
And so that was kind of a blow to morale. But she kind of went back to the drawing board. And eventually we got introduced, and she was able to heal from home again, using the right tools, deliberate, consistent action. So I just wanted to share that because someone told her she was treatment resistant, you'll never be able to heal, but she had in her mind. And it was beautiful of her to do that said, you know, no, I don't want that advice. And that's not going to work for me. I'm going to keep trying, I'm going to keep looking. And she did and she was glad that she did because she was able to heal and from home. And that's this whole theme of this whole mini series. So I just wanted to share that all with you here.

42:37  
So those are the three myths it's really important that you avoid these at all costs, right you, you make sure you're not kind of writing anything off because you're also struggling with fibromyalgia or because you're also struggling with a TBI or PNAS, it's really important that you heal this trauma, no matter what it will affect you and your life and bring it up in more ways than I can even probably articulate it. Let me just tell you from firsthand experience, you don't have to stay in suspense. It's amazing. When you heal your trauma and your past pains. It's absolutely amazing. I don't mean to brag. And then you know, if you've had this for decades, you still deserve healing. Remember that story I told you about the 90 year old woman, you deserve to feel free, you deserve to be at peace for the rest of your time on this planet.

43:18  
No matter how old you are. No matter who you are, where you are, what your past looks like you deserve healing. And remember to get your advice from people who you would want to trade places with. And that's kind of the ultimate summation of that you want to get your advice from someone who you would willingly trade places with. So be careful about being in the PTSD community and Facebook groups and stuff and getting advice from people who are at rock bottom, or who have not done what you want to achieve who have not healed their PTSD.

43:50  
Be careful about that advice. So that's what we have here. And there's one more thing I want to talk to you about. And it's the four biggest blockers to recovery, because you can know that it's possible. Again, you can know the science, you can understand how to take deliberate, consistent action with the right tools, you can understand that that's the magic formula. And you can avoid these myths, right, we debunk these myths. But if you're experiencing one of these four blocks, one or all of these four blockers, you will not be able to move forward and recover.

44:20  
So I'm going to reset the board here and then be right back with that four biggest blockers to recovery that I see time and time again. Number one is fear of facing your past so if you if you know it's possible to heal if you are you know the right tools, you know that you have to take deliberate, consistent action. You don't believe those myths, you know, you can heal but you're afraid of facing your past. You're not going to heal, you're not going to be able to take that next step. So then the second one is no hope slash motivation and I know that I felt Way at rock bottom big time. First of all, I was terrified to face my past.

45:04  
And then second of all, I had no hope and no motivation, like rock bottom is a scary place to be. And I know a lot of you know that and have kind of visited there before. But if you have no hope or motivation, you're not going to be able to heal, because you're not going to be able to move forward, you're not going to be able to take those next steps. Number three is anxiety. And this I feel like is one that just we see So, so so often, is, you know, if you're anxious, and you have a hard time getting out of bed, you're not going to be able to heal, you're not gonna be able to do the things you need to do. Even if you have the right tools, you're not going to be able to take the deliberate, consistent action to heal, because you're so anxious, because you're filled with crushing anxiety, and you can't get out of bed, and you have no hope or motivation, and you're terrified to face your past.

45:53  
So if you're experiencing these things, you're not going to recover because of these things, because they are blocking you they're getting in the way. And then number four, relationship turmoil. So this is a one I see a lot, it's a huge, huge problem. I know it was for me at first too, if you're not gonna be able to heal if your relationship is in turmoil, because it is so consuming. So if you're in a PTSD relationship, maybe you're together, maybe you're separate at this point. But if you have that relationship turmoil, again, you're not going to be able to take that next step, because it is utterly consuming and exhausting. And it causes the anxiety and it causes the lack of motivation. So if you have any of those things, you're not going to be able to actually take that next step forward, regardless of what we talked about today. So it's really important that we overcome these things. And in the next episode of this mini series, I'm going to be talking exactly how to do that.

46:54  
So I'm going to give you an in depth guide, I'm going to give you tools to overcome the fear of facing your past, I'm gonna give you a tool to overcome no hope and motivation, I'm going to give you a tool to overcome your anxiety so you can get up in the morning. So you can hold a job so you can go out and do the things you need or want to do. And then four, I'm gonna give you a tool for to start to begin to heal that relationship turmoil. So in the next episode, I'm going to be covering all those things in detail. And like I said, giving you comprehensive guides and tools that you can take action on when that episode comes out. And, and you can start kind of taking that step forward and moving forward. So you're not blocked by these things. Because again, if you're blocked by these things, you're not going to heal because they will keep you right in place, they will stop you from even budging forward. So that's what we're going to be talking about in the next episode.

47:46  
So I really, really hope to see you there. Like I said, it is so so important that we overcome these things, and that we get the ball rolling so we can continue to take steps forward. And recovery really is about one step at a time. And taking it day by day, sometimes moment by moment to do what you need to do. So that's what I have for you all in this episode. Thank you so much for joining me here. If you like the episode, if you have friends or family with PTSD, please feel free to share the episode, we're going to do a few more of these in our mini series here.

48:16  
A great place to share them is in Facebook groups. I know there's a lot of Facebook communities that have PTSD, and a lot of people are struggling with this. And you know, it's my ultimate goal, my ultimate goal from the bottom of my heart to help the world heal the pain of their past so they can have the future that they deserve that they want, that they really need to move forward. So that's what I'm here to do. Thank you so much again for joining me and I want to know from I want you to know from the very bottom of my heart, I believe in you at the very highest level. And I know no matter who you are, no matter where you're watching this, no matter what's going on around you right now. You can do this, you can heal and you can do it from home. So thank you again for joining me and I will see you in the next episode.